Now, Mizzou's football calendar is officially on the decline. The 2023 season is too far away to write much more about this winning breakthrough campaign. I have already squeezed enough blood from the stone of Spring War. The second portal his window is not yet open. The 2024 roster is not yet complete. The coaching and assistant merry-go-round is also quiet (knock on wood).
So let's get frivolous! This spring we'll be doing some throwback articles, some recruiting articles, and some transfer portal analysis. But we will also write some very stupid things for you.
With that in mind, here are the top 10 names on the Missouri football roster.
10) Logan Mackey
Logan McKee is a special teamer and wide receiver for Lee's Summit. He seems to have a very large presence on the team's official social media accounts, probably because he has a very cool name. Logan Mackey.
9) Cameron Keyes
Of all the last names that can be used as a first name, Cameron is definitely one of the coolest. I'm a fan. But the loaded name here is the last name Keyes, which is also pretty cool. Every time Mr. Keyes makes a big play, everyone takes out their little key chains and shakes them wildly.
8) Harold and Daniel Blood
Quarterback Harold Blood, a transfer from Southern, and his brother Daniel, a wide receiver who could join the team next season, have very cool last names. It's always fun to curl my little finger and do Bela Lugosi's voice, so I'll continue to do that. We want to convert your first down!
7) Theo Weese
A 5-star prospect has a 5-star name. Very cool. Theo Weeds is short for “Thelonious Weeds Jr.” and it's a cool word. Theo Weese is also an abbreviation for “Toughly Contested Back Shoulder Catch.”
6) Mookie Cooper
“Mookie” is always a very fun nickname, so this is a good name. Athletes with double -O in the name are said to be “Mooowok” by faithful fans in their hometown every time they play. Mookie's name gives us not one, but two opportunities to vocalize such gratitude.
5) Drake Heismeyer
Well, Drake is a cool name. Gen Z will attack you by mentioning rappers. Millennials mentioned Draco from Harry Potter. (Millennials, please read another book.) And for Gen X, there's a reference to Seinfeld's “Love Drake.” If you're named Drake, it comes and goes from all age groups and demographics. Also, “Heism-” is a great way to start the name of a college football player, or even a backup Interior offensive lineman. Great name, but no contest.
4) Orion Phillips
An Australian punter with impossibly long blonde hair named after a constellation and who can throw kick after kick? After Orion misses a long punt, you can already hear the announcer say with satisfaction, “What a belt for Orion!” And to be honest, that's what I'm here for.
3) Johnny Walker Jr.
One of Missouri's most famous defensive players, Johnny Walker's game is as smooth as a tumbler of top-quality Scotch. After a breakout season last fall, Walker was the toast of the Cotton Bowl, and he'll be pouring the toast again this season as one of Missouri's leaders. Walker can put opposing quarterbacks on the rock with just a flick of a finger. that's nice.
2) Bration Littlejohn
What a name! Great name, great last name. It flows like a poem along with the rhythm. It's almost iambic pentameter, but whatever that means, I didn't pay attention during class.
1) Chase Missouri
In other words. come.
