What I don't want to miss is how TV networks are telling viewers like me who don't care what grizzled ex-athletes pass off wisdom as just to make the TV run longer. It's the basketball rants and yackers that push you. Enough to cram in dozens more commercials.
There might be some pre-game hoopla during which one of the analysts declares, “The Armadillos' defense is great, and the Meerkats will be lucky to score more than four points in this game.''
Following the halftime kerfuffle after the Meerkats scored 97 points, the same expert explained, “Clearly the Armadillo defense doesn't have the athleticism to stop the Meerkats.”
You can avoid most of that jingle by tapping the mute button. But my fingers aren't always quick enough to silence the chatter of the “reporters” courtside during games, asking insightful questions like “Coach.” What do you do to be in the lead? โ
Apparently they're hoping that the coach, who was so clueless in the first half, will take a cue from their second-half strategy and reveal, “We're going to run double traps, half-court zone, reverse matchup defense.'' And on offense, all shots are taken by the point guard. (I keep hoping, “Our strategy is to score 98 more points than them in the second half, Dumbo.'' Or better yet, “Obviously, we have no chance of winning this game.'' “No, and I can't beat you. Wait until it's over so I can go to the hotel bar and get a double shot of Pappy Van Winkle.”
To end the nonsense with mediocrity, the game ended with a player on the winning team having a microphone shoved in his face and saying, “We were down by 97 points at halftime. How did we come back and win this game? ?โ
To this, the player naturally replies, “We never gave up because we all love each other.”
I'm sure some viewers like all of that. But I'm looking forward to the offseason, poking the mute button. Soccer lovers need a break to rest.
This columnist can be contacted at: dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.