Given the fact that artificial intelligence was used (albeit not entirely convincingly) in Brazil's final match at the 2027 Women's World Cup, we're starting this postcard with the planet FIFA, the 74th I hope it is appropriate to start by considering what groups of people will be attending the FIFA conference. First it becomes obsolete.
Over the past few years, I've felt that journalists will be the first to be put out to pasture once the revolution gets underway in earnest, and I can only hope that we can squeeze a few more decent junkets out of the field before the chatbots take over. was. that's all.
But after a week of chasing FIFA president Gianni Infantino around Bangkok in the hopeless hope that he might answer a question or two, I now have a weaker profession than me. I'm starting to think there are several.
After all, who needs a press secretary if you don't talk to them?
The 74th FIFA Congress was held in Bangkok this week (Tananuwat Silasant – FIFA via Getty Images)
Before you reach for the tiniest violin, let me explain why Infantino's decision to cancel this week's traditional post-conference media conference is more concerning than you might immediately think. . Invite people to travel thousands of miles to your event and then ignore them.
For all its shortcomings, FIFA does make a lot of money, and it expects to make more than $11 billion from the 2026 World Cup alone – and distribute that cash to its member associations. grassroots movements, youth development programs, and truly luxurious headquarters.
This is an important task and around two-thirds of FIFA's 211 members are completely dependent on the support of the governing body. But this may come as a shock, but money doesn't always go to the correct bank account.
Now, journalists can be annoying, but they don't like things they write about or talk about, like spending FIFA money on beachfront real estate in Miami instead of spending it on pitches, coaches, kids, and referees. They're pretty good at making sure people do what they say they'll do.
You would think Infantino would know that. He only has the crown because his predecessor has lost control of the courtiers' plans and his anointed successor, Infantino's old boss, has been caught in the crossfire.
But Infantino, who emerged as the great reformer, the one who opened the shutters and let the sunlight disinfect, has retreated into the shadows and now works for himself with occasional appearances on Instagram and sponsored conferences. Just communicate with people who don't. By his favorite crowd: billionaires.
In short, this means we can make three vague promises about improving the rights of migrant workers in Qatar, knowing that most people will forget. Or he could say that environmental protection is FIFA's priority, but then almost in the next breath announce that one World Cup would be held on three continents, and the second would be hosted by Aramco, the world's largest oil company. You can also. without a vote.
He could even go so far as to say that he believed FIFA had lost its way before taking office because the old regime had become so entrenched that it simply circumvented the term limits it introduced to stay in power a little longer. It is said that And he can also suggest the creation of a new World Cup for under-15s or jet-flying “legends” while accusing others of playing too much football.
Infantino prepares to speak at the FIFA General Assembly (Tananuwat Srilasant – FIFA, Getty Images)
You can do all these things and more without anyone asking you to justify it or reminding you that you said something different a while ago. Masu. Just like those pesky journalists do.
So Gianni, please don't hold a press conference for me. As long as this job is a job, press conferences are somewhere down the list of things I enjoy most about this job. Hold it for you. Think of us as slaves in a chariot with a roaring crowd whispering in our ears, “Remember, you are mortal.”
If not, AI FIFA representatives and presidents may also be talked about in the near future. If you are determined to keep repeating past mistakes, it won't take long for a machine to learn your ways.
Okay, no more self-indulgent moaning, let's pick up the gist of what Infantino said in his presidential address. Because he loves to sprinkle in some hints about where this circus is headed next.
First stop is a court or two. He scrapped his customary multilingual greatest hits list and delivered a very blunt message to the World Players' Association FIFPro and the World League Association, who boldly suggested that FIFA was “saturated”. Calendar with expanded events and new competitions.
Infantino told them to be quiet and pointed out that FIFA was only responsible for about 1 percent of the matches played by top stars. This sounds like a big deal when you remember that FIFA doesn't pay them.
But who pays the players isn't really the main issue here, it's whether the players are healthy enough to play after 75 games in a 14-month season. .
FIFA's position seems to be, “Okay, we'll just have a few short breaks during the domestic season, during which we'll reduce the league to 18 teams and we might not even be able to play in a second cup.''
The Premier League's view, one of those most annoyed by FIFA's calendar land grab, is that this is the final wedge and if the national leagues fail to counter Infantino now, we will be forced into an annual league. It is said to be on a rapid trajectory. Club World Cups, regional Super Leagues and much-reduced domestic leagues.
Infantino has already talked about his idea for an U15 World Cup, in which “everyone should be able to send a team to play,'' and how he himself organized a global version of the FIFA-subsidized Kickabout with former professional players. Stated. But he subtly brought in another extension in his closing remarks. In 2031, 48 teams will participate in the Women's World Cup, doubling the size of the tournament in just eight years.
If only FIFA's rival to the blockbuster computer game once known as FIFA had been developed so quickly.
In case you've forgotten about this hubris, EA, the makers of FIFA, paid 1 billion for the right to use the FIFA brand in the game Infantino made so much money for. When he asked for the dollar, he said goodbye to Infantino. Decades.
That was two years ago. The now renamed EA Sports FC is still inventing the term, but FIFA's “we'll make our own game'' rival remains a secret.
“We're developing a new game with a new partner, and like everything we do, it's obviously going to be the best,” he said. “Now, get ready for the new FIFA game.”
That's a nice line. But he also spoke at Congress last year.
Speaking of games, it would be remiss not to share some details about the aforementioned “Legends” tournaments that are a staple of these gatherings.
As I hurried to the bus to the venue for this year's tournament, I encountered an executive from a European football federation who said: “Honestly, I think that’s the biggest reason why most of us still flock to the venue.”
The venue, the Royal Bangkok Sports Club, is normally a racetrack with a golf course in the center, but for one night only, two mini-soccer fields were also installed on one of the fairways. The sight seemed to confuse a large lizard that was slowly crossing the adjacent fairway.
In terms of play, the UEFA team used President Aleksander Ceferin as a Roberto Firmino-style forward, flanked by Luis Figo and Andriy Shevchenko, with Clarence Seedorf leading the show in the center of the park. .
UEFA striker Aleksandar Ceferin (Pakawicz Damronkiatisak – FIFA, Getty Images)
I know what you're wondering – “Has he figured it out yet?”
Former Scottish Division One winner and current chief executive of the Scottish FA, Ian Maxwell remains the cornerstone on which UEFA's 'legendary' successes are built.
However, they were unable to win this year's tournament. FIFA has entrusted Infantino with the role of captain and black hole of a black hole where even if the ball goes in, it doesn't come back, so I don't really understand why, but the international governing body defeated UEFA in the final.
If the VIP football tournament is one of the highlights of the week, another big one is Ceferin makes no secret of his disdain for FIFA events.
Smoldering tensions between UEFA's Slovenian coach and Infantino could hold back the holding of the summer football tournament, but Ceferin really outdid himself this week. This was something of a follow-up to last year's efforts to leave Rwanda's parliament to launch a UEFA-sponsored football project in Uganda.
This time, Ceferin was unable to return to his front-row seat on the stage above the chamber after the halftime coffee break. At first no one seemed to understand why he left early. All everyone knew was that, like Hungary's Sandar Czani, another of FIFA's eight vice-presidents, he didn't ski.
This was very funny and also practical since the traffic on the way back to the airport was a nightmare, but it was also a little…well, rude.
Eight years after Infantino's closing remarks and declaration to end racism, Ceferin not only missed the master plan to end racism, but also decided on the host city of the 2027 Women's World Cup. Because he missed the vote.
It was a life-or-death battle, with Belgium, the Netherlands and Germany jointly invited to compete against Brazil.
OK, everyone there knew that Brazil had it sewn up months ago, but there's no way the UEFA ship's captain would leave in a lifeboat before Seedorf et al started their final presentation. You would like to think so.
In terms of suspense, we had to wait about an hour for FIFA to reveal how each member association actually voted.
The results revealed that Brazil won 119-78. This was a slightly closer margin than most expected, with BNG's bid supported by every other UEFA member state except Russia. There's always one. It also received votes from China and several small islands in the Caribbean and Pacific Ocean. I do not know why.
The rest of the world supported Brazil, which is fair enough. The Women's World Cup has not yet been held in South America. It's their turn.
That said, it will be interesting to see how they justify the higher “commercial” rating they received from the FIFA bid evaluators, even though the European bid had higher prospects for broadcast, ticket sales and sponsorship revenue. By the way.
I wanted to ask Infantino about it, but he was last seen rushing towards the service elevator while a FIFA spokesperson subtly held off the rest of the chasing press corps. It was time. Like Arsenal's Benjamin White does on set pieces.
Maybe that's the way to survive the arrival of AI. Chatbots cannot learn dark arts.
(Top photo: Pakawicz Damronkiatisak – FIFA, Getty Images)
