INDIANAPOLIS — David Sanders immediately wanted to be Beech Grove's first hire as the new high school boys basketball coach.
his wife, Amy;
“I told her the other day that she was going to be the mom of the team,” Sanders said. “She is preparing her for her role.”
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This title is more than just an honorary title. This has deep meaning for David and Amy, who have suffered personal loss for the past three years. The couple lost two sons, Kingston and Carson, to stillbirths. A third crew member died from a miscarriage.
For David and Amy, it was a journey of indescribable pain, but the heartbreak also brought them closer together.
“His grief is different than mine,” Amy said. “But we both lost sons, and I think we've both tried to understand each other through our grief. David's passion is basketball and coaching young men and being there for kids. I talked to other families and heard stories of other families whose relationships were torn apart by this tragedy, and it brought us closer together.”
Mr. Saunders, 34, believes that personal tragedy narrowed his focus and led him to the Beech Grove job sooner than might have happened otherwise. A 2008 Beech Grove graduate, he was a three-time all-conference guard for the Hornets and set a career assist record at IU-East before coaching as an assistant on the basketball staff and head track and field coach at IU-East. Ta. 5 years. He moved to Atlanta in 2017 to be near his sick mother and took a job as an academic advisor at Georgia State University.
When Amy became pregnant with Kingston in 2021, he called then-Beech Grove coach Mike Renfro to see if there was an opening on his staff. That same year, he coached the 8th grade team, the same season the Hornets won the program's first state championship in Class 3A.
The following year, Sanders became the junior varsity coach when the Hornets reached the 3A semistate under coach Joe Lim. He continued in that role last season as Beech Grove fell to 5-19 with an inexperienced roster. Ream resigned after the season, but will remain in the school's athletics department.
“I think last year was kind of a ‘one-and-done’ year,” Sanders said. “We didn't have a lot of experience and it was a big difference going from JV to varsity, where everyone was bigger, stronger and faster. But this (freshman) senior The class has won a lot of basketball games in their career. At the end of last season, we were starting to win and playing close games against some good teams. From zero varsity experience, they. It just kept getting better.”
David's first year back in Beech Grove was personally heartbreaking. Amy was 35 weeks pregnant when Kingston was stillborn on February 18, 2022. The couple became pregnant again in late 2022, but their son, Carson, was stillborn on April 28, 2023, at 32 weeks.
When asked if there was a correlation between the two, Amy replied, “It's like the million dollar question.” “We were monitoring Carson because he had an intestinal obstruction, but we didn't know if that was the cause (of the stillbirth).”
Amy was 13 weeks pregnant with son Crew, but miscarried on October 20, starting the cycle of grief all over again.
“Honestly, David was my light,” Amy said. “I watched him throw himself into basketball and coaching and how he dealt with grief. His passion and drive to help these kids and be their go-to person inspired me more than anything. He helped me understand that it's not all bad. Just because we're having tough days doesn't mean we aren't having tough days. helps me a lot.”
David, who has a tattoo on his right arm to remember the three sons he lost, has always considered himself a coach. But his personal trial only strengthened that view of him.
“It’s what motivated me and shaped me,” Sanders said. “I truly believe that all of the losses that we've lost have brought me to this moment. This is my passion and what I've always wanted to do, and I've created a blank space where I can put so much time and energy into it. It's something you can do to fill in the gaps. People often say that being a father makes you a better coach. I haven't been able to do that yet, but the kids (at Beech Grove) are like sons to me. .”
Amy and David plan to try again with pregnancy, but are also open to adoption. They hope their story can also help others experiencing similar tragedies.
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“We hear a lot about miscarriages, but we may not hear as much about stillbirths,” Amy says. “I hope I can let others know that you can be successful and live life again. It has been a tough journey, but I am grateful that David poured his heart and soul into his family and the boys on the basketball team. It was fulfilling for me to see that.”
Sanders said he plans to build the program on four pillars: responsibility, discipline, toughness and family.
“We talk about these four things every day,” he said. “We want to develop these boys into better people. High school basketball is great, but my goal is for them to be better sons, better men when they go out into the world and finish playing. It’s about being a husband and a father.”
Call Star reporter Kyle Neddenlieb at (317) 444-6649.