On October 7, Palestinian soccer player Mahmoud Wadi was recovering from injuries in Egypt when Israel launched the Gaza war following a Hamas attack on southern Israel.
The 29-year-old from Khan Younis in southern Gaza has been on the road with the Palestinian national team, desperately trying to inform his friends and family about the safety of their friends and family in the besieged enclave for the past five months.
He lived through three Israeli attacks on Gaza, in 2008, 2012 and 2014, and remembers wondering every night whether he would make it until dawn.
Wadi, who currently lives in Cairo and plays for Arab Contractors in the Egyptian Premier League, will be part of the Palestinian national team at the AFC Asian Cup 2023 to be held in Qatar, where the team will be part of the historic 2nd Recorded a round finish.
Al-Fida'i (known among fans as the Palestine team) received enthusiastic support from crowds of different countries, religions and age groups, with tens of thousands of people coming to cheer on the Palestine team before the round of rounds. have gathered. -16 elimination by hosts and eventual champions Qatar.
In a conversation with Al Jazeera, Wadi opened up about the struggle to perform at his best on the field while the war rages on in the country.
Al Jazeera: Growing up in Gaza, what did soccer mean to you?
Wadi: Soccer is the only escape from war and Israeli occupation. Young people and children turn to football because it allows them to distract themselves from the situation. Football gives them a good mood. In Gaza we love soccer. However, due to the years of war waged against us, the harsh economic conditions and the siege that has completely closed off Gaza and its people, our children are unable to achieve their goals. [footballing] dream.
The Israeli occupation always puts barriers and obstacles that prevent us from achieving it, and unfortunately people leave Palestine. We are forced to look for options elsewhere.
Al Jazeera: Why did you leave Gaza? How difficult was the decision?
Wadi: It is not easy to leave your country, homeland, family and friends for a better future. It always brings a feeling of alienation and loneliness. But we make sacrifices for our ambitions. We are people who love life and want to live and follow our dreams just like everyone else. What is difficult is the fact that we are leaving behind our loved ones.
I currently live abroad and my family is facing killing, destruction, and displacement in Gaza. I left Gaza, my family and friends to play soccer, but I live in fear and anxiety.
We are not leaving Palestine because it is not a beautiful country. We love our land dearly, but we must look for a better life.
Al Jazeera: What are the challenges of being a Palestinian national soccer player?
Wadi: Being a soccer player is not easy considering the Israeli occupation and its obstacles. In Palestine, it is not possible to gather players for soccer camps, so the impact is significant.
Athletes from Gaza cannot enter the occupied West Bank and vice versa. Some athletes are unable to enter the country outside of Palestine. Despite the difficult circumstances, Palestinian national teams continue to gather abroad from all over the world. We have players from the occupied West Bank, the Gaza Strip, Palestine 48, various Palestinian refugee camps in the occupied territories, and the diaspora.
No team in the world can overcome such conditions and participate in the prestigious regional championship. [like we have]. This in itself is considered a great achievement and a source of pride for Palestinians.
We have always had dreams and ambitions, but our profession tries to crush our spirit. We have risen from the rubble of her three wars to reach where we are now and hope to continue on this path. Our strength comes from the courage and fortitude of our people.
Al Jazeera: How difficult is it to communicate with friends and family back home?
Wadi: It is very difficult, especially when communications are cut off in Gaza. Since the war started, I have never put my cell phone down. Whether it's in Egypt, traveling with the team or during training sessions.
One morning, my brother disappeared. Due to communication failures, no one in the family knew anything. I was very anxious for 10 hours until I heard from him.
This is our situation. It's a constant feeling of anxiety and an unimaginable situation. Not knowing where your loved one is and feeling helpless and unable to do anything is indescribable. All you can do is pray. Every second of our life is a test.
Al Jazeera: What do you think after talking to your family and friends in Gaza?
Wadi: They try to explain a small part of the reality that they experience every day, but it is very difficult to convey their feelings. The reality of war cannot be expressed in words. Our conversation focuses on the harsh and demanding conditions they face. But like everyone else in Gaza, they remain brave.
Al Jazeera: How was it seeing your family for the first time in two months?
Wadi: After a war that lasted more than 80 days, I met my mother, brother, and their families in Egypt. I had an image in my head about the horrors of war, but when I saw their weak faces, eyes, weak bodies, and white hair, I realized that it was far worse than I had imagined. It was.
I have experienced three wars. It was scary to spend the night waiting for a bomb to fall and crush you against the roof, but this war is not the same.
Al Jazeera: What is the last memory of Gaza in your mind?
Wadi: I remember the people, their affection, and the bond of love. It feels so good.
My last memory of Gaza was its sea, streets, buildings, and electricity schedule of eight hours on and the next eight hours off.
Despite everything, Gaza was developing day by day. Clean streets, beautiful facilities, restaurants, chalets by the sea – those are the images of Gaza that are seared into my memory.
It was worth preserving for its sweetness and beauty. Despite war, death and destruction, it is still beautiful and will continue to be even more beautiful.
Build it the same way you built it before, a second time, and a third time.
Al Jazeera: If you could go back to Gaza now, what would you do?
Wadi: When the war ends, I would like to return to Gaza and express my condolences to the family of my dear friend Hamed, who was martyred in this war. I want to see my brother and his children and friends and see what happened after Gaza and all this destruction.
I want to convey some of the sadness and memories of war to people. I want to be part of their suffering.
Al Jazeera: What did you think when you saw the horrifying footage of Yarmouk Stadium being destroyed by Israeli forces?
Wadi: Yarmouk Stadium is not the only facility destroyed. There are thousands of mosques, churches, offices, hospitals, universities, and schools. Not even trees and stones were saved.
I scored many goals at Yarmouk Stadium with hundreds of fans cheering. The sight of tanks circling around the stadium is still fresh in my memory. There are no words to describe its ugliness. But as horrifying as these scenes are, they are no more horrifying than the images of children dying and being blown to pieces that we see every day.
I can't forget them even for a moment. They live inside me.
Al Jazeera: Can you forget about the war in Gaza when you step on the soccer pitch?
Wadi: The war is affecting my family, friends and people.
My cousin was martyred. My best friend was martyred. My childhood memories were destroyed. This occupation destroyed all life in Gaza.
Even if you survive this war, you will not be able to live a normal life. There are no job opportunities, no education, no offices, no markets in Gaza. They killed all life there. We cannot forget our suffering, but we can let it inspire us.
The ferocity can be seen in [Palestinian] The team on the pitch. It reflects the Palestinian character. As players, we push ourselves to make people happy, even if just for a moment.
Our strength comes from the suffering and fortitude of others.
The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
